I wish that without me, your heart would break.

Sunday's ugh

Why did it have to be so hard for us to live our lives?

My arms were wrapped tightly around my knees as I sat silently on the floor of his room, waiting for him to walk in. I stared at the door for a couple moments, only to look back at the deep blue color of my jeans. I heard the door knob turn and quickly turned my head to the general direction of the sound. His sweet, perfect eyes met mine, and he smiled. I returned the smile as he swiped the lights off. It was pitch black now, considering the time of night and lack of the artificial gleam that once brightened the room. "I can't see" I giggled lightly. I could hear him laugh as he threw himself onto the couch. I could barely see the outline of his body as he lied down, face closest to the spot where I was sitting on the hardwood floor. He asked lightly, "hey Zoe?" I looked at him best I could and answered, "yes Jesse?" He continued, "what if... When you left this room, I died? What would you do?" I pondered the thought for a moment. Should I be honest? Should I bend the truth a bit? "I.." speaking quietly, deciding to be honest; "I would cry. It wouldn't be the same without you. I would come back in and kick their ass. Then I would bring you back to life." He laughed. I smiled. It was silent for a moment, before I asked, "hey Jesse?" He laughed lightly and said, "yes Zoe?" "What if... When you left this room, I died? What would you do?" I finished. It was quiet for a couple moments, then he spoke. "I would miss you a lot, Zoe. I would miss you a lot. It wouldn't be the same without you either." I felt myself blushing, thanking God it was still dark in the room. "What's going on with Brandon?" he asked. I sighed, and looked down. "I don't know anymore. We go from good, to great, to horrible, to bad, to horrible, to good all over again. It's a cycle. I don't know what I'm doing wrong." He sighed, and said softly, "I don't know how you feel about this but.. You're beautiful Zoe, and you deserve a lot better than him." I felt warm tears start to drip down my face; something I had been trying to avoid. "Zoe... Are you okay? Zoe?" he asked repeatedly. I said, choking back my tears, "of course. I'm fine." I felt his hands wrap around my back as he pulled me into his arms. "Shh..." he murmured soothingly. I continued letting the salty tears run down my cheeks onto the sleeve of his shirt. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and cried. He rubbed the back of my head as he held me. As we both pulled away from the hug I needed most, I smiled. I hadn't felt so secure with someone in a long time. With his hand still on the back of my head, I felt him pull me closer and closer. From that moment on, I only believed everything was a dream. As his lips met mine, I felt my stomach fill with a thousand of those little cliche butterflies. I asked after we pulled away, "You like me?" And he said in a soft tone, "I think I do, Zoe." He pulled me in again, and the rest is history.
 
theeee end

let it go, zoe.
 
let it go

yes times a thousand

this would be too long for a status update lol
but i guess it's got some good meaning to it